That would have spared you the devastating second break-up – instead of going through all of this AGAIN, you could've taken the time to heal.Īgain, I am not saying this to hurt you. The right move would have been to go No Contact immediately after she went “experimenting” the first time. It's the ultimate force field against pain-inflicting, going-wild Exes who just want to “experiment.” That is why I am a big proponent of the No Contact Rule.
I'm saying this to make you understand.īut you probably already do … you just feel helpless to do anything about it. I'm not saying this to make you feel guilty – I am on your side. So, going off with another man is THE ultimate red flag.Īnd going off twice is the mother of all red flags. It's the very definition of being monogamous. The one main characteristic of a long term relationship is that having feelings for your partner excludes having feelings for someone else at the same time. This is unforgivable, and it's an infallible sign that the relationship may have already come to an end.
This is where you have to tell her to choose between you and this experiment or to go to hell. When your girlfriend tells you she wants to be with another man as part of an experiment, and at the same time she assures you that her feelings for you are unchanged, then there is something terribly wrong with this relationship. Our usually so rational minds malfunction when it comes to losing the one we love. To regain what we have lost, we are prepared to “bend reality,” to turn a blind eye to things that are red flags and completely unacceptable in a relationship. Unfortunately, this is one of the hardest things to accept – that the relationship has changed. We want our Ex to be the same person as they were the day we fell in love with them, and we want this relationship to be what it was when everything was in perfect order. Still thinking about your Ex? Click here to take the test to learn how long it takes to heal. When it comes to our Ex, we are completely irrational, and we make stupid mistakes … even multiple times because we desperately want things to be as they were before. What we should do is NOT ever make the same mistake twice. In a lifetime, all of us make many, many mistakes.
Was it a mistake? Yes … but a forgivable one. What you did was not pathetic … it was only human. I feel your pain… I don't want you to beat yourself up. Even worse, if I had to respond today … I'd let her in again. I am embarrassed that I let her back in the door. That was last night, and she asked for a month with no contact so she can sort out her feelings. When the experiment didn't work after two months, she contacted me again, and we started talking.Ī month later, we were back together … and it lasted ten days before she said that she needs more time. My girlfriend of 2 years left in early July, saying she wanted to spend time with another guy, but that it was like an experiment, and her feelings for me were unchanged.
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